I would love to know how Amy Winehouse was allowed to get a dirty great love bite on her neck during a prison visit.

The singer emerged from seeing husband Blake Fielder-Civil in jail looking like she’d had a tussle with a vampire. If they can get close enough to suck blood, what extra little gifts could they be sharing?

Enough said.

Celine Dion obviously didn’t learn recycling and conservation in school because she’s passing enough water in a Florida home to fill a 50-gallon bathtub – every four minutes. Utility records in a South Florida show that a property owned by her company Renlec Management used 6.5 million gallons of H2O last year. The Palm Beach Post reports that most residential users in the same county use around 100,000 gallons per year. If you do the math, Celine uses 65 times as much water as the people next door. What the heck is she using all those water for? Is her house just one big giant pool?

Courtney Love claims her lawyer and accountant have taken her money fraudulently.

The former Hole singer – widow of late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain – also asked fans for help finding a new legal representative in a message posted on social networking site MySpace.com.

The star’s misspelled blog entry reads: “Due to a lawyer without power of attorney illegally signing $2.2 million in cheques when I was in the UK, everything he signed was 85 per cent fraud. Then, out of spite, his friend overpaid my taxes by about 400 per cent.”

Courtney says she believed her lawyer was acting illegally, adding: “So next time the NYC Attorney General calls, I’m happy to speak to him myself. As I understand it he was dismissed by my former lawyer. I don’t get that guy’s motivation, forcing me to sign tax returns I knew were illegal or pay down ‘diversions’ that are exactly the same amount as a business manager’s phoney corporation. Why? Why take an already complicated situation and f**k it up even worse? To break me? Because I’m worth nothing more than Kurt’s publishing? Which they’ll get over my dead body. No lawyer on this earth will agree that your criminal lawyer is by law allowed to write your contracts which include him wetting his beak at 175k for every deal you make! Toxic man. My police report for $2.4 million is filed and public now.”

The entry closed with a plea to fans for help, as Courtney asked: “Is anyone’s daddy a fraud lawyer? Forensic? A great Washington lawyer simple and plain and a winner?” following a tirade of allegations of fraud against her lawyer and accountant.

She added: “I am the champ, by the way, my FBI guy said in 28 years in law enforcement he’s never seen personal embezzlement or even embezzlement at this level, ever.”

Courtney claimed in March she was a victim of identity fraud, but police were said to be skeptical about her allegations.

Something as small as a black dot on R Kelly’s body may end up saving the singer’s hide from having to spend time in jail. The R&B singer’s lawyers are actually basing pretty much his entire defense on one mole. Kelly’s trial began on Tuesday wherein the defense claimed that the guy in the video, which was screened in court, doesn’t have a mole but Kelly does. The defense also claimed that the woman in the tape was a prostitute. Among other curiosities in the video, the girl calls the man in the video ‘daddy’ and he apparently pays her at the end.

Lily Allen was reportedly thrown off Flavio Briatore’s yacht. The ‘Smile’ singer enraged the Formula 1 boss with her drunken antics in Cannes, France, which included ripping her bikini top off and having to be rescued from the sea.

Lily, who appeared to be intoxicated, jumped overboard the vessel but had to be dragged out of the sea by crew members who feared she was drowning. When she was back on board, embarrassed Flavio made her cover up before asking her to leave.

The incident is the latest in a string of drunken antics for the singer, who is in the French resort for the world famous Cannes Film Festival while she takes a break from recording her second album.

Last week, topless pictures of Lily sunbathing were released, but the pop star laughed off the shots, insisting she was happy to be a pin-up. On Friday, she stunned fellow partygoers by revealing she wasn’t wearing any underwear at a black tie party. The day before, she apparently fainted in a taxi back to her hotel, having to be carried out by her father Keith, who is in Cannes promoting his new film.

A friend of the singer said earlier in the week: “Lily doesn’t give a damn. She just wants to have fun. She couldn’t care less what people think, she’s just a young girl having a good time”

Lily had had a turbulent start to the year, following her tragic miscarriage in January and subsequent split from her Chemical Brothers star boyfriend Ed Simmons.

Keith Urban can’t wait to be become a father.

The country singer – whose wife Nicole Kidman is expecting the couple’s first child in July – is looking forward to the imminent arrival and admits while they know the sex of the baby they are keeping it secret.

He said: “I’m very excited about it. We know the gender but I’m not saying. I’m glad we found out though, because it brought it home, you know what I’m saying.”

The couple – who married in 2006 – announced Nicole’s pregnancy in January. Following the announcement, Nicole and Keith were pictured grinning broadly while shopping together in Paddington, Australia.

Asked how they were feeling about the news, Nicole said: “Very excited. We are thrilled!”

Nicole - who has suffered miscarriages in the past - already has two adopted children, Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, with her ex-husband Tom Cruise.

Nicole and Keith met at a black-tie ball for Australians living in Los Angeles in summer 2005.

The Hollywood baby bandwagon may be having to accommodate another couple soon as newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are said to be jumping on. One of the diva’s assistants recently went out to baby store to the stars, LA’s Petit Tresor, to talk about nursery décor. Her people reportedly asked if the store could send fabric samples and about a butterfly theme. Mariah’s manager has been denying pregnancy rumors by Mariah herself said that having children is “part of the whole purpose of getting married.” We’ll just have to see when the time comes – in a few months perhaps.

Amy Winehouse is set to model at this year’s London Fashion Week.

The troubled singer has been approached by top British designer Julien Macdonald to appear in his show at the prestigious event in September.

He said: ‘Amy has great style and she’s an amazing talent, isn’t she? She’s unique.’

However, many fashion critics are worried her scruffy look may inspire a new high-street trend.

A source said: ‘It’s unbelievable – when you see her she is such a mess. She’s always roaming the streets in ripped clothes, like she’s thrown things on, and not on purpose.

‘She goes for a rework of the 50s look, but when she’s out of it, she looks terrible. There’s nothing chic about walking around drunk and screaming in public.’

In February, it was reported Amy was offered $1.00,000 for a one-off performance by French fashion house Louis Vuitton to appear at their show during Paris Fashion Week.

A source said: “Louis Vuitton are huge fans of Amy and think she’ll be the perfect performer during their show, which is one of the most anticipated throughout the week. It’s a lot of money but they know she’ll be worth it.”

Billboard is reporting that Joaquin Phoenix is creating an album with Tim Burgess of the English alternative rock band, The Charlatans. Burgess says “Once [Joaquin] learnt guitar [for the Johnny Cash film ‘Walk the Line’] he found that he had quite a lot of demons inside himself that he wanted to expel through music. All the tracks that me and [Charlatans’ manager Alan McGee] worked with him on were brilliant. But I think he just keep scrapping everything or re-doing everything. I’m sad to say that I think it’s one of those records that may never come out, to be honest with you. It’s an on-going thing. I’m trying to get Alan to force him to put it out at the moment, but I don’t know whether it will [get released].”

Sir Paul McCartney officially became a free man on Monday when a High Court judge officially terminated his union with Heather Mills. The judge pronounced a ‘decree nisi’ on the grounds that the couple has been separated for two years. Both parties were not in court to hear the declaration and their lawyers refused to comment after exiting the courtroom. Heather is now able to claim the $50 million she was awarded as part of the divorce settlement. He may officially be a free man but he’s losing a chunk of change he could use on a party to celebrate.