Says Who Live

Paris Hilton still convinced she’s an actress

I hate to agree with Paris, but I think she’d be perfect for a movie version of “Dallas.” It’s going to be a steaming pile anyway, why not go all out? Cast Lohan and Britney too. Might as well, it’s not like they’re casting “Hamlet.” Also, I like her dress. When she’s not dressed like a hooker, she cleans up OK. If this makes anyone feel better about her impending visit to Africa, there are more plane crashes in sub-Saharan Africa than anywhere else in the world because all their airplanes are raggedy-assed, as are their airports and most African countries have cruddy or nonexistent air traffic control. Shit crashes there all the time. So if she actually goes there, she has a better than usual chance of dying in a plane crash. …I’m rather sick of hearing about this skunk but like Anna Nicole you just can’t help but read. I’d be elated if she died one morning choking on her lucky charms but we all know she doesn’t eat… Food that is. They’d find her dead after choking on cock. Hopefully it’d all be on video. Oh that’s right, she’s ‘changed’.